Gender Communication Differences in Traditional Marriage Essay

Men and women communicate differently. Two people of opposite gender joined in marriage have two very different styles of communication to the extent that this problem is sometimes insurmountable. Lack of clear communication between partners in a traditional marriage is often cited as the cause for divorce. What often occurs â€Å"is not a failure to communicate, but a failure to understand communication† (Akin, 2003, 1). Long before technology took over society and created more avenues for communicating with each, men were used to showing support by â€Å"doing things† for the family and women showed their affection through talking (Torrpa, 2002, 1). Women expect their marital relationship to be based on mutual dependence and cooperation while men expect it to be based on independence and competition (Torppa, 2002, 1). Clearly, these two different sets of expectations will have an effect on how the two partners communicate and ultimately, on the strength of the union. According to Ohashi (1993) marriage is a system established on the assumption of a division of labor based on gender-role stereotypes (from Katsurada, Sugihara, 2002, 2). Women traditionally tend to want to â€Å"make everyone happy† while men make decisions based largely on their own personal needs (Torrpa, 2002, 1) – one aspect of marriage that is unchanged for the most part yet responsible for many breaks in communication between the partners. Differences in characteristic gender roles also affect communication between husband and wife. Typically, women are characterized as being the more talkative of the sexes as well as being comfort providers and more secure in showing their emotions. Women are also better at â€Å"reading between the lines† regarding interpersonal issues (Torrpa, 2002, 1). Men, on the other hand, are known for their distinct lack of communication and inability to provide emotional support. Their ability to â€Å"read between the lines† regarding status is more pronounced than in women. With traditional roles in marriage declining and technology taking over, communication is at once both more effective and less available (Morris, 2001, 1) – we have more ways of communicating (e. g. text messaging, Email, etc. ) but we have less time to do so with multiple careers. Both male and female partners tend to see the other as being more controlling of the relationship (Torppa, 2002, 1) and without the ability to communicate effectively, this assumption can be quite damaging to the marriage. This research will explore the varying roles of a man and woman in a traditional marriage relationship, how these roles influence their ability to effectively communicate, and the level of satisfaction each partner feels based on their idea of whether or not they are communicating effectively with each other regarding important issues. According to Torrpa (2002, 1): â€Å"understanding differences is the key to working them out†. B. Hypothesis It is expected that marriage partners with traditional roles (i. e.the husband as breadwinner, the wife in charge f the household) will experience a greater chasm between what is being said and what is meant in that these partners will have communication styles more typical of their gender. It is hypothesized that men will have a very different style of communication than the women in each partnership. C. Participant Selection A minimum of 15 married alumni couples will be identified via public records office and sent a mailed invitation. Commitment may also be obtained via telephone. Respondents to the survey will be offered a gift card from a local merchant. D. Materials 1) Written questionnaire regarding the couple’s marriage 2) Assessment of task completion using a scale model E. Procedure In this study, the married couples will be surveyed regarding their role in the marriage. Each couple will be surveyed individually. A task will be randomly and privately assigned to one of the partners with specific instructions to verbally communicate the specifics of the task to the other partner. Communication style and effectiveness will be measured by the ability of the spouse to complete the task and a post-task survey completed by the spouse that will rank the value of the instructions given on a scale of one to 10. The spousal differences between the style of communication (i. e. non-verbal direction, logic) will be made apparent by the answers to the post-task survey. Analyzing the data with frequency tables is expected to show that the males in the group communicate using logic, while the females will rely more on non-verbal signals they expect their partner to recognize. Potential Risks to Participants There are no potential risks associated with participation in this research study. However, should participants feel the need for counseling services following the survey, they will be directed to the campus counseling center. G. Expected Benefits for Participants and Society Participants in the survey should garner a much better idea of how to communicate more effectively with each other. The hope is that through awareness of communication deficits, the married couples will be able to put this new knowledge to use when needing to communicate about larger and more important issues.